Thursday, January 19, 2012

Anaconda 2 impressions


Or Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid. I saw this in a theatre in Bad Flim Club, so there was a running comedic commentary. For that reason (and because I can't be bothered), I'm not making this an actual review.

Basically I thought this was actually better than the original (which was crap) as it actually tried to have a story beyond just "there's some guys in boat and a snake attacks them", which actually does tie together better than most monster movies I've seen. It's still a mediocre movie at best though. You probably won't like or care about any of the characters, and you can predict who will die quite easily based on the typical clichés. And if you're expecting to actually see any giant snakes, you'll be a little disappointed; beyond the occasional tip of a snake's tail seen vaguely through the water, there's probably less than a minute of actual CG and animatronics in the entire movie.

#####SPOILER WARNING#####
First of all, why act so coy about showing what's eating people for so long? Most people will probably figure out that it's a BLOODY ANACONDA! It's the title of the damned movie! OK, yes, I know it's to cut down on costs. That doesn't make it less stupid.

Yes, the British guy was evil. Big surprise. However, near the end of the movie I suddenly came to a horrific realisation: the really annoying panicky wimp WASN'T going to die! Dammit, I should have seen it sooner. What a disappointment.

There were a couple of points that seemed to have been lifted from star wars: they need to hire a ship so they find Han Solo and Chewbacca. When he showed them his boat I actually half expected him to say it would do the Kessle run in twelve parsecs. Also, notice how the only guy willing to sail them down(?) river was not from around those parts? Coincidence?

Can monkeys swim? It seems they can run faster than a boat anyway, and they survive falling over waterfalls so...

Was I the only one that noticed this? I've scoured the internet but found nothing (not even on IMFDB), so I guess I must be. The revolver seen in the movie looks like a Colt with a full round underlug, meaning it's probably either a Colt Python or Anaconda. Bonus points to the movie (and me) if it is!
Looks like a Colt python

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